I was a foster kid.
For a long time, I felt like there was a stigma attached to saying that, instead of acknowledging that that chapter of my life helped shape who I am today. When I was young, there was a brief time that my sister and I were in and out of foster care. My mom was a single mom dealing with some trauma and had limited resources at that time in her life. I have some pretty negative memories associated with that time, but I remember, in later years, seeing what fostering was supposed to look like. My best friend’s parents were foster parents, and I would watch kids come into their home and then completely turn around over time with love and consistency and support. It was like, oh, this is what that’s supposed to look like! I remember being twelve or thirteen and saying that if God ever put me in a position in my life where I could give back like that, that’s what I was going to do.
Lebanon became home for me in 1993. It’s where I’ve raised my family. I was a teacher and have now been in real estate for twenty years – so this is where I consider home. This community has given me so much, and I’ve always felt like you should give back where you’re planted.
Over a 20 year time span, we fostered around fifty six kids. Some stayed for a short time, but most stayed at least six months, and many stayed a year or longer. We mostly brought in larger sibling groups so they could stay together. Before every placement, we prayed about it. We talked about it as a family with our own children in the house. We understood that each placement was a commitment and that if they came into our house, they were going to stay. We were in it for the long haul.
We believed that each child in our care had been placed there by God for that season of their lives. And because of that, we also had to understand that He has a plan for their lives. That plan may not be what my plan might be, but His plan is always good and perfect.
We tried to make sure the kids in our care had opportunities to explore who they already were. We put them in sports. We taught them to swim and ride bikes. Our kids were always on the swim team. I can remember having eight kids in the house and driving in 2 cars every weekend in the summer to a swim meet. Their time with us was about giving them opportunities and letting them experience what childhood can look like.
I always had the conversation with them that there is a different life. You don’t have to choose to stay on the same path that you were on when you walked into my house. I wanted them to see that there are choices. It doesn’t have to be limited. They could dream bigger. They could decide for themselves what their future would look like.
When their time with my family was over, it was crushing. When people would ask me if it hurt to let them go, I’d say that if it didn’t crush me, I probably wasn’t doing my job right, because maybe I was holding back. There was always that period afterwards of just, my heart is broken. My spirit is crushed. And, Lord, just be with them, cover them in Your protection.
Foster kids need somebody in their life who is all in. All in with love. All in with trust. All in with teaching them how to be amazing human beings.
Fostering was the hardest thing I have ever done. And it was hands down one of the most rewarding things I have ever done.
Over the years, so many former fosters have reached out and asked, “Do you remember me?” Of course I remember you! I remember everything about you. What a feeling that is, to know that in some small way, we made a difference. You do one thing in somebody’s life, and it can be the catalyst for generations of change.
Back when we were fostering, there were no resources like what we have now. You never knew when you answered that call at midnight who would be coming into your family. Maybe the sibling group included a baby, or toddlers. Maybe it was summer, winter, fall. You just made it work.
I used to pray for something like what Live 2 Give Hope is doing back then, a place where foster parents can walk in and say, they’re bringing a child tomorrow. What do I need? And someone says, here are all the things!
That is why I serve on the board. I know how much that kind of support matters. I know what it feels like to be that family trying to make it work and wanting to do it well. Community raising kids. That’s what it’s supposed to look like.
For probably three years now, I’ve been praying about what comes next. I knew God had a plan, so I began to think about young people who, through no fault of their own, spent time in foster care or guardianship and maybe don’t think education beyond high school is an option for them. So many times they are just surviving each day… they’re doing everything they can to pass school and make it through. Many have not been afforded the opportunity to join a club, play in the band, or play a sport.
I know there are young people out there who just need somebody to say, look what you can do! You already have it in you!
So I started a scholarship program called Fostering the Future.
This is truly a community scholarship. I’m just the one seeding it. It’s not about my name. It’s about making sure young people who have spent time in foster care or guardianship care know that there is support waiting for them. People, like me, who believe in them and the potential to do great things!
This scholarship is for Laclede County seniors wanting to receive ANY formal education beyond high school. If you want to go to a two or four year college, that’s wonderful! If you want to go to a trade school, become a welder, a firefighter, an EMT, a beautician, whatever that next step looks like, this is for you! It’s about helping open that door.
We will be removing barriers that can stop students who simply did not have the same opportunities. Sometimes all someone needs is that one person who says, I see you. I believe in you. Let me help you take that next step.
The scholarship is held through the Lebanon Area Foundation, so it’s protected and it’s community based. And if someone feels led to give, whether that’s a church, a business, or just an individual who has a heart for foster families, they can give directly to it. The more money donated, the more young people we can help.
I really believe this is something that belongs to the Laclede County community. I’m just the one who felt called to start it.
I’m only now at the point in my life where I can tell others that I was a foster child. I’ve only recently understood that it is part of my story. It’s part of what made me who I am today.
And if one little piece of that story can be the catalyst… If one young person sees that there are more choices. If one foster parent feels supported. If one family realizes they are not alone. Then it will have been worth it.
Merry Anne Rutledge
Former foster child, former foster parent, Live 2 Give Hope board member, and founder of the Fostering the Future Scholarship
Voices of Hope
Every person in this community carries a story worth telling. Voices of Hope features the real people of the Missouri Ozarks who show up for children and families — foster parents, caseworkers, volunteers, survivors, and neighbors who simply refused to look away.
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